home.

For the past month and a half, I have been living at home. with my parents. You might think “oh, that’s not so bad.” And I’d have to agree with you. No rent. No buying food. No paying for utilities. It’s nice.

But two months (the amount of time I will have been here by the time I move out) is proving to be longer than I thought.

It’s not that I don’t enjoy being at home. I love my folks. I get to sleep late (at least right now), take naps and do what I please. And of course, there is nothing more comfortable (at least for me) than home. Driving down our road, which has a Baptist church sign at its end with a different message every week (this week’s was “Exercise! Walk with God!”--no lie) is the epitome of the “home stretch.” I remember coming home from Elon, and seeing that sign, and thinking “whew...i finally made it.” Then I would turn down our drive way and see our house, and I knew I was there--and in that knowledge was a safety and hope that somehow is always found at home.

So what’s the problem? The problem lies in the fact that I haven’t lived at home for four years. When I did come home, the longest stay I had was three weeks. Three weeks to two months is a pretty big jump.

The problem isn’t in my parents or the house or the pets or my old room. The problem lies in the fact that this is a period of huge transition for me. I’m leaving behind what I’ve known, and stepping off on a journey which hasn’t all come to light yet. I’m not sure where the path might lead, but I’m going to tread it faithfully and hopeful.

Since moving home, I’ve known that this adventure is just beyond my doorstep. And I am excited to begin it. So now, home feels like it is doing the one thing home shouldn’t do--hold you back. It’s not intentional or malicious, just reality. Since the fall of 2005, my life has been on a train going full speed ahead. Experience after experience has shaped me and molded me in such phenomenal and miniscule ways. That train has finally paused on the tracks, refilling on water, changing passengers and upgrading engineers.

Maybe I just wasn’t ready to pull into a station. But, as I think about it, I’m glad for the rest.

At Elon’s most recent graduation, University Chaplain Richard McBride presented us with part of a prayer from Michel Quoist’s book Prayers. This particular prayer was based on the book of Ephesians, and begins like this:

I would like to rise very high, Lord;
Above my city,
Above my world,
Above time.
I would like to purify my glance and borrow your eyes.

That is my prayer--Let me see this time with God’s eyes.

blessings.
jon.